Mom’s don’t get sick, we get miserable because we don’t take care of ourselves. There should be some sort of shot of super immunity that you get when you give birth to your first child. I think dads should get it to, don’t get me wrong. Seriously, who thought it was a good idea to make a person who has to take care of other little people also have to figure out how to take care of themselves? I won’t get into critical or terminal illnesses, those are something no person should have to go through, with or without kids. What I am talking about is that illness that you know will go away, but when you are in the thick of it, you are pretty sure you are dying.
I find that when I have this type of illness, usually the flu or some sort of bronchitis/sinus infection combo, it is always during some incredibly busy time in my life. That means that instead of taking 3-5 days to heal, it takes me weeks. WEEKS!!! This time, it’s been over 5 weeks that I have been sick.
We always wait too long to get better.
Moms, you know what I mean. You know you will wait it out as long as possible, hoping it will just go away on it’s own. Sure, you medicate with some Nyquil or Mucinex, maybe even stop by the pharmacy and ask what you should be taking and try that. Anything to avoid making an appointment and actually going in to see a doctor. I know, that takes too much time out of your day. Between working, and laundry, and drop off and pick up and after school activities, and everything else that comes with being a mom, being sick and taking care of yourself is NOT even on the radar.
This time I was only on day 12 when I decided I would go in to try to get it taken care of as early as possible. I was feeling pretty good about myself, having scheduled it into my day. Then I got the call from the school that no mom wants. “Your son fell, and we think he needs to go to Urgent Care”. Oh boy. Maybe I should have just checked myself in with him, but who would have taken care of him?
That’s it really, isn’t it? For some unknown reason we don’t think anyone else can do what we do. You know what? We are right! No one else can do everything we do, but guess what? These families of ours will live without it. Our spouses or partners will step up to the plate and find a way to get the kids fed and to school and generally showered while we go to the doctor at the very least. I bet if you ask, they would even let you rest a bit.
Like your mom used to do.
Not like we used to rest back in the day though. Remember it? When you were a teenager and you got sick. Mom waited on you hand and foot and you were only expected to moan in misery when she opened the door to check on you and bring you soup? I know that you remember the long naps mixed in with a TV show here or there? Just hours and hours of uninterrupted rest. Ahhhh, doesn’t that sound dreamy? You know what? Your mom was probably sick!
You woke up and started whining about being sick and your mom thought to herself, “Oh no you don’t! I am too damn sick to deal with your crap today!” She probably never said it out loud. I mean, do you? Of course not! But I can assure you that 5 minutes before you walked in her room she was laying there thinking, “Thank god those brats are going to school today, I just have to get through the morning routine and then I can rest”. Maybe she even considered seeing the doctor that day. But no, here you come with your sniffles and now she is on the hook for ice pops, soup and fever checks while she feels like she is dying.
It is nothing new for us moms to treat ourselves terribly. Even these cross fit types can’t figure out a way to get to the doctor when they are sick. You take great care of your body until you get sick and then it takes and act of congress to get you to call your own doctor. When you finally get there it takes 5 weeks to get better because you waited until your spouse started ordering underwear online instead of just doing the laundry. And you really hate the way he does the laundry so you let him order the underwear.
I don’t know what the magic number of days is, but I think it must be about three. If you are sick for three days, just go to the doctor because we are not our kids. We can’t just lay around for 5 days waiting to get better while we sleep. No matter how fabulous our spouses are, they can’t be two people. Trust me, my husband is about as fabulous as they come and after 5 weeks my house is a disaster zone. For all his efforts, there only so much he can do.
There are too many kids, too much house, too much laundry, and so much dog hair. He has been incredible, and the kids are fed and clothed, and homework is done and after school activities have been attended and the no one is worse for the wear. If only I had given up on day three instead of day 12, it wouldn’t be day 35 and I wouldn’t still be miserable.
Sage Advice…
So take care of yourselves. I am not a doctor, but if you feel sick, don’t wait forever. Don’t wait longer than you would make your kids wait to feel better. I am so guilty of waiting too long. It’s my M.O. now. Lean on your village. Let them help. Tell them you are sick. They have been there, and even with our crazy busy schedules, they will find the time.
Trust me, a good village won’t judge the dog hair laden floors and the toothpaste on the sink (notice I said on not IN). They will take your kids out for the night, pick them up from school, maybe even bring you some soup like mom used to make. They want to help. You just have to ask. They have been there too. They have waited too long and done too much and forgotten that it was okay for mom to get sick. We are not alone. We are sick, and we deserve to get better so we can enjoy our kids again.
