I have tried to be THAT kind of friend. I swear I have. Every once in a while, I have a little glimmer of hope, but it is not long until I fail. This isn’t anything new. Being THAT kind of friend was never my strong point. It’s no surprise that I still generally suck at it.

What is THAT kind of friend? It’s simple. It’s the kind of friend we all want and we all want to be. The friend that calls you on your birthday, but goes a step further and sends you a gift or a card and maybe flowers AND it arrives in time. What the hell is that?!?!?! I am lucky if I can get a Facebook Happy Birthday out to some of my dearest friends. Sorry! You know I love you. I hope…

THAT kind of friend hears that your kid broke his arm and tries to bring you chicken soup and has their kids make get well soon cards. If I hear your kid is sick, I am probably going to tell you how sorry I am and let you know that you can call me if you need anything. I mean it. I REALLY do. It isn’t just something that I say. If I tell you to let me know if you need something, all you have to do is ask, but I am probably not going to be THAT friend. The one who is going to call and check in every day and send flowers. That is so wonderful, but I sort of assume you just want to chill with your little and don’t want to worry about texting me back.

THAT kind of friend sees something at the store and thinks of you and instead of sending a text with a photo, they will buy it and stop by your house to drop it off. I REALLY hate it when people just show up at my door. Not because I don’t love you. Mostly because I rarely have pants on and my house is hardly ever presentable anymore (kids make that impossible).

Seriously, I am pretty sure the only people who just show up are delivering Amazon or are trying to convert me to a new religion. If you show up out of the blue there is a good chance I will be military crawling on my floor under the windows so you don’t see me in my undies. I need a solid 30 minutes to brush my teeth, put pants on and at least spray some air freshener so you don’t report back to our other friends that my house smells like a teenage boy’s jock strap.

When you have THAT kind of friend, they remember that two weeks ago you said you had a Gyno appointment today and they will call to see how it went. I am not going to call to ask how your girl parts are. Not because I don’t care. Your girl parts are very important. I am just simply not going to put that on my calendar and I feel strongly that if you wanted me to know how your girl parts were doing, you would call me. If you do call me, I will listen. I will offer whatever help you need. I’ll go to the store and buy all the feminine products you need and deliver them to you (at a time we have both agreed upon). I will hold your hand for any procedure, any appointments, but don’t expect me to invite myself.

When you are THAT kind of friend, you share your life with people. You tell them everything. If your child gets into a new class at school, you share. Your husband gets a haircut, you call to let your friends know where the new best place in town for men’s haircuts is. If you found a new summer camp, you make sure everyone you know with kids knows about it. You are incredibly giving and want to make sure everyone has the same options and knowledge and experience that you do. It’s amazing!

THAT kind of friend will be very upset when I don’t remember to call them to tell them about the great sale I found during back to school. I swear, I was not trying to keep it from you, I just didn’t think to call everyone I know to tell them about it and I barely had time to get there in the first place. There is also a really good chance you are the one who told me about it in the first place.

What kind of friend am I? I am the kind of friend that will always be there when you call. If you need 300 mini muffins for your event tomorrow morning? I will bake them for you. Even if it means I don’t get any sleep and have to miss my kid’s practice. If you need someone to volunteer to help at your school with an event, I am there! You need a ride to the airport at 5 am? I will set the alarm now. Help hiding the bodies? Just let me know if you need shovels or cement. I’ll bring both, just in case.

You need help with food for a party you committed to? On it like vomit! You are fighting with a loved one or stressed about something in your life and need to talk? I will stay up all night. I will even put pants on if hugs or a place to stay is needed. Don’t worry, I have wine and all the time in the world for you.

If you call and say you need a night out on the town, I am in! When I say, “let me know what you need”, that is really what I mean. It is not just a phrase meant to sound caring and give me a chance to walk away. That is me telling you that I won’t push you. I won’t step into your space unless you ask me to be there. Won’t ask you uncomfortable or private questions, but if you want to tell me your most embarrassing stories, my lips are sealed. I have strong shoulders and will be there to share the burden with you. You never have to wait for me to call you to ask, just know that I am there. Don’t ever hesitate to call.

I think that all types of friends are needed. THAT kind and the kind I am. THAT kind makes you feel like you are the most important person in the world because they remember the little things and seem to have taken etiquette classes from Ms. Manners. I love that kind of friend. How could you not?!?! I know I could take a lot of tips from them. Hopefully they appreciate the kind of friend I am too. Having a variety of friends is what makes my life so incredibly rich.

I don’t need you to remember my birthday (of course it is always nice), or check up on my warts (I think I got them taken care of), I just need to know that if I need a night out, or a shoulder to cry on, or someone to help me out of a bind, you will be there. Hopefully you won’t ask why I forgot your birthday or didn’t send a card when the family gerbil died. You will know that me calling or texting once every few months, is my way of staying connected and showing that I love you. Hopefully you know that the same can be said for me.

Don’t feel bad if you are not THAT kind of friend, because I don’t feel bad about it. I am loyal, I am dependable, and I am here. We don’t have to talk everyday, week, month, or even year. If you need me, I will be there. Even if you think I am upset with you or the last time we spoke we had words. The odds are, if you need me, i will do everything in my power to make it happen.

I am similar to having a dog or a kid as a friend. They don’t know to call, send cards, remember your appointments. When you show up, they are happy to see you. Even if it has been hours, weeks or months since they last saw you and you show up wearing superhero pajamas. They love you and are thrilled just to see you. So am I.

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